 Dew It Clean, you know what I mean? Monday, February 19, 2007 you have to love 'urban myths' and this one is up there as far as i'm concerned when it comes to outrageous and outrageously profitable to corporate america. after all is their anything more cut throat that the cola wars here in the US? anyway, this little bit of mythology dates back to the mid to late-90s and it still is going strong today. it seems that a widely circulated birth control option amongst high school and college age males was the thought that consuming large amounts of mountain dew would keep your sperm count low. Rumormongers attribute the piss-colored soft drink's alleged spermicidal properties to its high caffeine content (55 mg. per 12 oz. can, versus 45.6 mg. in Coke and 37.2 mg. in Pepsi) along with the large amounts of the coloring agent Yellow Dye No. 5, but there's nothing in any scientific literature to support either claim. The fda determined long ago that Yellow Dye No. 5 poses no health threats to non-allergic people, and as for caffeine, there's evidence to suggest it actually increases the motility and effectiveness of sperm cells, not the opposite. yep, your sperm might actually get a caffeine buzz and swim like its in the olympics. the myth has grown even beyond the spermicidal musings and into complete bull shit--dew might shrink your nutz (that's american blog-speak for scroatum...which is sci-talk for family jewels...which is junior high for balls which i think is another name for nutz) or worse make your member (which is clean-speak for penis...which is med-term for dick...which isn't as funny as johnson-rod) shrivel all together. where these notions came from is certainly unclear, but they echo more urban mythology going even further back (at least a decade) geared towards many african americans. inner-city blacks perpetuated the tales that companies allegedly owned by the Ku Klux Klan or other racist organizations purposely add sterility-causing ingredients to foods, beverages and other products popular with black folk to cut down on reproduction of the race. kool smokes were a target and newport sales grew proportionately. of course, companies rarely address these myths because they don't want to add to the believability or if their sales are moving up they surely don't want to stop any momentum on that front either. as for the amount of white trash i see consuming mountain dews in lieu of black coffee in the mornings and the sense that unwanted redneck pregnancy is forever on the rise, i'd have to say that the contraceptive qualities of m.d. on the surface seem nil to the casual observer like me. rumor has it that it is a great mixer for cheap bourbon...but i never drink cheap bourbon...anyhoo, wrap that rascal or don't--but nonetheless don't depend on soda pop to save you from parenthood...that's what's beer's for...daddy drinks because you cry. morning dew. Yashica Electro 35. Kodak Ultra 400 UC. how about them 2007 Photobloggie nominations? I feel like that fat chick what can sing from Dreamgirls. Comment (6) | Permalink |
